Infinite Sadness.

[sam]

Melancholy, the state of mind that Sam found himself in that morning, the weather cold, the sky open wide. His feet took him forward, away from the shadowy confines of the large school. He looked back once, wondering where his feet might led him this day, and found the shrinking castle behind him as he stopped in the center of the gardens. Normally he would have brought a book, something he could hold in his hand and glance through while sitting alone in a quiet corner. Today, his pockets were empty, his hands straying to search but finding nothing. He sighed, discontent in his soft brown eyes as he swayed to a small bench. He sat down, and looked to the enchanted flowers, forever blooming in the cold weather.

Recently his thought flowed forward, life after school, University, loneliness. He was never one to fit into a crowd, preferring his time to be kept to himself, away from the loud noises that crowds ofttimes held. He foresaw nothing but a long life of quiet study, and eventual work at some mediocre job he probably would never enjoy. When he had foresight of his future, he could not help but envision a life as an old person, with a house full of cats, and no one to ever talk to. He would see himself giving them names like humans and having them become his only friends. It was a sad foresight, but he could not blink it away when the thoughts were upon him. He knew he should try to do something to change what he saw as his only future, but sometimes even that motivation made him more depressed than he currently was on this cold day.

Sam had friends, he knew this, often he thought he might have too many. However, none of them seemed to be close to him. He imagined friends as being inseparable people whom would always be there for you should you need someone to speak with. Sometimes he turns around to speak to one of these friends, and finds that they are no where to be found. At those times he retreated into himself, hid within the shadows of his own head while he sorted out these thoughts and confusions. Life was odd this way for him, but it was how he was able to get this far in school. He had, in essence, became his own best friend. If this made him a sad person, then he was a sad person, his emotions had always been held close to him as there was hardly ever anyone else around to let them out with. He sighed, and looked over to the flowers blooming.

His lips parted into a sad smile as he watched the color change on one of the most magnificent blossoms he had ever viewed. The oddities in the Hogwart's gardens were something that always amazed him. He could come out here in any weather, and then see the same buds that would never grow in weather inclimate to them in other locations. He shifted his position and looked back to the path that led down to the school. He wanted to do something today, maybe enjoy some conversation but as often was the case everyone else seemed to be so busy with classes and other things that he found himself alone once again. Most the time he did not mind so much; however, on this day he wished he could find someone to simply pass the time with. Anyone to aid him in getting outside of his head and bitter thoughts of his imagined future.

Sam sighed, and closed his eyes.

[Evangeline Menai]

Walking through the stone corridors that wove their way through Hogwarts, she tugged her cloak closer to her body, protecting it from the frigid winter air. Her feet guided her as she walked with no set direction, only for a quiet secluded sanctuary to think. The gardens; the perfect place and her new set destination. Despite the cheery greeting she was met with along her way, she kept her lips tightly drawn together merely nodding at those who pulled her away from her thoughts.

Upon reaching the beautiful sanctuary, the enchanting aroma of blooming flora made its way through her senses. Walking along the cobbled paths, her fingers grazed the extending petals softly lingering only when she spotted a lonely orchid. Gazing fondly at the flower, she couldn’t help but understand the loneliness of the beautiful yet fickle flower. Sorted into Ravenclaw, her wit and smart separated her from most, yet she stood out amongst her housemates, her seclusion no doubt her own doing.


Eva trailed her fingers across the petals once more walking away from it regretfully. Making her way further into her personal paradise she noticed someone else had a similar plan for their day as well. Taking in the appearance of the lonely figure on the bench, the familiar features of her housemate glowing slightly in the sunlight. Noting the closed eyes, she figured loneliness was something he seeked and disturbing it was something she wasn’t going to do. Hoping to tread by with out alerting him of her presence she quickly padded across the cobbled path tripping over air. Fumbling into the air, she held out her hands to break her fall scraping them as her body met the ground with a thud. “Omf” she ground at the contact trying to blink away the tears that threatened to spill from the sting of her flesh scraping against the rough floor.

[sam]

His mind whispered thoughts through his head as the quiet was torn open by a cluttering sound of a body hitting the ground a mere three paces to his left. His eyes opened on the sight of a female, Ravenclaw and familiar, laying on the cold hard ground of the gardens. He moved to this feet and knelled beside her. With a fluid motion of one hand he reached out and took her hand in his to make a quick examination of the wound. His other hand reached for a cloth, moving it gently over her hand and pressing lightly to stop any flow of blood. His eyes moved up to look at hers. The face he gazed upon was familiar, sorted into the same house their first year, he knew of her. Although the two were only on speaking terms in passing, he was fond of her. They were partners in Fifth year Herbology, to do several projects. Sadly, their pension for solitary forced them apart. He smiled gently to her, his eyes falling back to the wound, and gazing at her soft hand.

"The cut does not look deep, it should heal nicely. I could use magic, if you like?" His voice was as soft as the whisper of the breeze around them as he moved to look at her eyes once again. He patted her hand, and left the cloth in her palm as he moved to help her stand again. There was no hint in his voice of humor as he glanced around the ground. "What did you trip on?"

He thought back to the last time they have spoken, it was a simple hello-good day passing outside the Great Hall. In class, both of them were typical Ravens listening more than conversing. He wished this was not so, as it was their last year and he was unsure of what the future might hold for either of them. He motioned to the bench, and went to sit down, regaining his former position in invitation for her to join him. He did not want her to feel the slight bit of embarrassment, it would not be his nature to make fun of her in this situation anyway. Sam was always polite to those he liked, and he found that he liked her. Even if the two of them had never been overly close in the time they knew one another.

[Evangeline Menai]

Feeling someone gently take hold of her hand she flinched at the contact of something against her scrape. Looking at the hand currently holding hers she noted it was much manlier than she expected, ‘not that she had given his hands much thought’ she mused to herself with a guilty blush. Following the path of his hand up his arm finally meeting his gaze, she smiled softly in return to his kind one.

"Oh" She was surprised at his kind offer and quickly recovered with a sheepish smile “That would be nice, Merlin knows Pomfrey is tried of me walking into the Hospital wing with another scratch or bruise.” Letting herself be pulled up by him, she noticed the significant height difference, at least head’s worth of distance. Following his gaze, she seemed to realize what he was looking for; a culprit. “Um, my own feet.” She said while looking at the path. “I’m not the most graceful witch.”

Lost in her own thoughts, mostly of ways trying to hide her embarrassment, Eva realized she was left standing alone. Looking up with wide eyes she sighed with relief, ‘Thank Merlin, I thought he left me here’. Walking slowly and cautiously she made her way bashfully to the bench he was occupying. Glancing at his face she found his expression unreadable, as if he was lost in a world of his own. Debating on breaking the silence she let her eyes wander back to the stained cloth in her hand. “Thank you” she whispered, not really caring if he heard or not, the Silence was most definitely a pleasant one.

[sam]

He removed his wand from his pocket, and touched her soft hand once. His skills with nonverbals were not his best trait, but he knew this charm well. The wound closed, and he smiled once again as he replaced his wand into his inside pocket. He examined his handy work, thinking if he said it out loud it would sound like a silly pun. He glanced up to her once again, "I think there will be no need for Pomfrey as of now. Might want to watch your feet next time, might not be a hero to rescue you." He smiled to let her know it was only a gentle tease and turned his attention back to the flowers she had just been admiring.

"What brings you out of the castle today? Meeting someone?" His question was asked to entice conversation and gauge her for information on if she was expecting another on this cold day. He did not want to intrude on another's meeting if he could help it, as polite as he was, although he did not really want to be left alone. He had been thinking only moments before that perhaps company would be nice. If he had to chose his own company for the day, he could think of no one else he would enjoy spending the time with. He seems to have been blessed with good fortune, maybe the best luck he has had in weeks. A light conversation would make him feel better, and he was hoping her answer would be in the negative as far as meeting someone else today.

He thought of all the times he might spend in conversation with her, but had been separated by study. Perhaps for the rest of the term, should this conversation go well, they might find time to study together if nothing else. He nodded to himself, unsure if she saw his movement and looked back to her. We waited for her reply with baited breath.

[Evangeline Menai]

Smiling as she saw the wound close itself magically, a strange feeling of panic washed over her. Staring at her hand much in a similar fashion as he did moments ago, she feared that it would be the end of their time together, that he would feel as if one of them needed to leave. Looking up at his curiously after his comment she felt herself blushing madly for the umpteenth time in a span of 10 minutes, "Cant promise you anything, I tend to be a hazard to myself even in my sleep.” She mused with a smile “I am there far too often; it’s nice having a hero for once." She said softly.

Pondering his question, she wondered what brought her out as well. "I just wanted to walk; I’ve been here so many times my feet automatically bring me here." His questions innocent enough she didn’t hesitate to be honest, a first in her 6 years of schooling. “No I’m not, are you?” she asked innocently. She was certain most people generally avoided this area unless meeting someone and certainly a gentleman with his kindness he was surely to have someone waiting for him. Fate had certainly played cruel tricks on her before, but she silently hoped that for once someone was willing to be around her without an ulterior motive.

Biting her lip she twisted her hands in her lap wishing she had something to keep them calm and steady instead of betraying her real emotions. Being that this was the lengthiest conversation they’ve had with each other she certainly didn’t want it to end, much less if there was a possibility of something more.

[sam]

He smiled slowly to himself as he listened to her answer. His thoughts played on the last time he had actually met someone here, and could not recall that event ever happening on purpose. He had no one to sneak off to meet anyway. He thought of the few actual dates he had been on since his time at Hogwarts, and could easily count them on one hand, using three fingers. Although he never shied away from the opposite sex, he was always too busy in his studies to move into the realm of relationships. Perhaps this was one of the reasons that provoked his melancholy. He envisioned the possibilities an actual date might provide him, and saw that the thought did not entirely displease him. In fact, his own personal loneliness might be avoided with the company of another. Sadly, it had not happened for him up to this point, and he was not positive it would beyond this chance encounter. She had stopped speaking and returned his question to him, he knew he would smile again as he answered.

And so he did.

"No, sadly I hardly get the chance to meet anyone. You are in fact holding the honor of being the first person with whom I have held a conversation in the gardens this term. I hope the honor is not lost on you, and you will continue to join me here? If, this is you have nothing else to do for the day? Not going to wander off and fall down again are we?" His comfort level with her was reflected in his slight jab at her clumsiness, even though he found it most charming. He was not sure how someone so beautiful could be so clumsy, and if given time he would honestly love to learn.

He moved to lean on leg on the bench to face her, while his elbow rested on the back. He placed his hand on his head and watched her. The way his eyes moved over her made it seem as if he might be studying her, and truth be known, it was a possibility. He did watch people on occasion and she would be no exception. In fact, the more he looked at her we found he could not tear his eyes away. Hopeing not to make her uncomfortable, he added a smile to the soft gaze.

[Evangeline Menai]

Upon hearing the first part of his answer she wanted to smile sadly, she knew exactly how he felt. Yet, she couldn’t help but feel elated that she now was going to be a special memory for him, even if it was an accident. "Well this is the first conversation I’ve had with anyone in the Gardens period.” She said teasingly “I don’t know of many people who know about this.” Cursing Circe to a million deaths she felt her face heat up again as he asked if she would continue to join him. She was more than thrilled, but wasn’t going to show much. The last thing she wanted to do was scare away one of the few who actually spoke to her. “I would join you, even if I had things to do” Her voice shockingly strong yet gentle. “Although I cant promise that I wont fall again, the air seems to have it out for me as well, most of everything actually” she said sheepishly while she absent mindedly fingered a scar on her elbow from a scar she gotten in Divination for shattering a crystal ball.

Smiling brightly as he got comfortable on the bench, she decided to do the same. Turning to face him she lifted both legs and tucked them into each other much like an Indian. Smoothing out her skirt so only leg was showing, she then folded her hands neatly on her lap. Meeting his gaze she tried to decipher his expression, he was clearly trying to read her much like she was trying to do to him. “I don’t think you will find what you are looking for by staring at my face.” She said teasingly. “I may be easy do read, but I doubt it will tell you my favorite color or book. Much like your face wont do the same for me.”

[sam]

He grinned, the smile reflecting in his eyes as she spoke to him. He could not help but try to stifle a soft giggle. He knew what her words meant, and it was an overwhelming joy for him to read between the lines. Obviously, she meant that simply looking at one another would not get them any closer to knowing one another. This was amusing to him to consider, and nodded slowly to her. "Of course, the best way to garner that sort of information would be to simply speak upon such topics. This has always been the best way to get to know someone, unless of course you would rather follow me around and spy on me. As such a spy, I fear you would be no good. You would sneak around and fall and everyone would catch you at the activity. So to save the emotional and psychical distress, shall we just converse to get to know one another?" He spoke with the quiet tone than always came from his lips as he said anything. Often he would go days without speaking more than such a whisper, then other times he longed for some sort of higher intelligent conversation that always appealed to his nature. In hopes of finding such conversation in the beautiful girl sitting with him, he glanced again to her.

As an after thought he added, "And if I am around when you fall, I will do my best to be there and catch you." This was in answer to her inability to promise she would not fall down again. He found her bluntness to be more than pleasant when talking of her own failings at the skill of walking. Far from actually making fun of it, he found that it was more endearing to her personality and his own first impressions of her. He recalled in his head, as he waited for her to answer, the project they had to do in that long ago Herbology class. Three feet of parchment had been assigned and nearly to the end of it, she bumped his elbow and spilled out a half full bottle of ink. Of course, acting fast, he made the mess go away, but he remembered the blush on her face as their hand made the briefest of contact in that short span of time. It was the first time they had ever touched, today was the second. The future? Yet to be determined.

[Evangeline Menai]

Biting her lip she too tried to stifle a giggle. He seemed to understand her wit and didn’t take her remarks with offence as many did, they preferred the straight approach where she liked to allude to things, it seemed to fit her reserved personality. "I don’t think I would make an effective spy either. I can say I do lack skills in the stealth department. Well we are already conversing no?" She said teasingly, feeling more at ease in his presence. “But I do believe maybe a game of 20 questions would be most useful. Have you ever played?”

It seemed as if her body was in perpetual heat, blushing again she bit her lip gingerly. "That would be nice, although I’d hate to take you down with me." Frankly no one had ever been around to catch her, well no one ever made an attempt to catch her, and she was more than a little concerned about the actual event. It seemed almost genuine his concern for her safety but it was too early to think anything of it. Her thoughts wandered briefly to previous encounters with each other. Most ranged from simple hello’s as they passed through the common room but one stood out. A brief touch due to her clumsiness in Herbology. She wondered if he remembered that, but paid no more attention to that. “We are well aware that I am not the most coordinated person, but I would like to even it out a bit by learning something about you.” She said bashfully.

[sam]

He had never intentional played a game of questions in his life, but thought this might be the perfect way to not only extend this conversation but to give them time together without a desk between them. He nodded as he listened to all her words, loving the way her voice sounded in his ears. He noticed yet another blush and certainly hoped it was because he was saying the right things and not over stepping his bounds with his foolish comments. He nodded to her, and clapped his hands gently. "A game of twenty questions it is then. I have to admit i have never played, but it must be a simple game. However, since this way indeed your suggestion, feel free to begin this game" He glanced away in hopes there would be no interruptions to their questions game. Seeing no one on the path, or even in the courtyard areas below he smiled once again and looked back to the one with whom he was engaging in a rather pleasant conversation.

He found himself wishing that they had taken the chance to speak more than in passing over the last six years. If each conversation would be as delightful as he found the start of this one, he had nothing to do but feel he missed out on much with her. However, he was going to make the most of this conversation and learn as much about her as she would allow. He was more excited than he showed.

[Evangeline Menai]

Smiling brightly she moved excitedly in the bench readjusting her position. Leaning forward slightly, resting her elbows on her knees with one hand discreetly touching his knee. "Indeed a very simple game, in which the idea is to be as honest as possible." Pondering on a question to ask, she wondered where to start and where to go. “Well lets start with something simple, How about favorite flower, in homage to our current location.” She said softly and eagerly. Smiling at the irony that she would find company when seeking solitude. Yet now she hoped that solitude was something she wouldn’t have to experience again for a long time.

As much as she enjoyed her years at Hogwarts it felt as if something were missing. Like her experience at the magnificent castle wasn’t anywhere near the same as her peers. Painfully she realized it was because it wasn’t like that of her peers. She relished in her studies not looking for anything that may have veered her from that. She wanted someone to share her thoughts and experience with and finally Merlin granted her a chance at that. ‘Thank Circe for my lack of coordination or I may not have been given this chance’ she mused to herself.