Worrying Thoughts [Jonnie]

[bellasterling]

Bella walked out of the Three Broomsticks into the freezing cold which almost blew her back making her want to turn around and head back into the warm and cozy pub. Though she knew tonight she couldn’t. Bella needed to head out toward the edge of Hogsmeade and wait. Wait for that one person who had been on her mind the past week or so. The only one who could ever do that to her, the one who had captured her heart. That thought made her frown though as she pulled her coat tighter to her body and swung the scarf around her neck. Jonnie hadn’t been to see her or even make contact with her in the past week or so ((not sure how long it’s been)), which worried her completely. After all the night they met was one in which they…well imprinted each others names on each others hearts so to say. In more ways than one.

A slight blush crept to her already pink cheeks as she made her way down the lonely street, Jonnie the only thing in her mind. What if that night had been a mistake and he was only playing me, she thought to herself suddenly. She shook her head hoping her thoughts weren’t confirmed to be true. After all it’d defiantly break her heart yet again, something in which she had tried to keep from happening the past 5 or so years. She winced at the past having a small feeling even if this turned out bad she wasn’t going to close herself up she couldn’t do that to herself again. Bella knew even if it might have been a right choice back then is wasn’t going to be a second time.

Sighing into the wind she stopped at the edge of the small town and waited looking out into the darkness which kept creeping in every minute. Doing this Bella couldn’t help but feel things weren’t right. A feeling in which she couldn’t shake off. Of course she hoped she was wrong and everything was perfectly fine but she couldn’t cut herself short like that, not anymore.

Letting her thoughts die she let her hazel eyed gaze search the darkness once more hoping Jonnie had gotten her owl and that’d he come. Come to sooth her worried thoughts and let her know everything was alright. That school had kept him busy and he didn’t have the time to come see her. Then go on to tell her how sorry he was and that soon enough they’d be together and it would be forever. Forever and tomorrow. The thought rang so quickly through her mind she almost didn’t hear it. The words made her close her eyes lifting her head toward the sky letting the cold air whip around her in gusts of wind as she waited and hoped.

The only thing she could do then.

((Uhhh....title sucks. Couldn't think of anything...))

[jonringo]

The days had been long for Jonnie, not only the school taking up so much time, but the weird blackout spells he had been having lately were playing hard on his mind. He decided not to let Bella know about them, he need to keep something a secret, but was not sure what, or why. He thought these exact words as the little owl stopped in front of him. He knew where it had been sent from right away, and his full lips curved into a smile, making him look years younger than what he really was. He tilted his head, his hair falling forward as he lifted the light bird and took off the little message. Unrolling the parchment his eyes danced across the page. He did not think a reply was needed, so her tapped the owl lightly on it's head, and let it go. It returned to the sky, soon to be a little dot in the expanse of clouds. His eyes followed it for several moments, before he turned and entered the large castle, to make his way to the dungeons.

An hour later, Jonnie crept around a large bush, his eyes trained on one single spot about five feet away, the out of bound marker for the rear side of Hogwarts. He had but only to make it a few more feet before he was home free, and could apparate to his small apartment, or better, to Bella's small home. His lips played into the smile again as he darted furth, hitting the spot in mere seconds, turning and disappearing soon after. As he had done hundreds of times before, he reappeared in Hogsmead, landing lightly on his feet, and facing a form standing alone several yards off and down a small curving road. His eyes lit up as he saw her, his breath coming in quick gasps. His heart picked up a new beat, rattling in his chest as he looked at her. He could already feel the draw he had, the connection, like no other connection he had ever held in the past. Like no other he would ever hold again. Jonnie's eyes rested on his Bella.

Soft footsteps brought him furth, walking down the road, watching her as the wind lifted her beautiful hair up and played lightly with it, then dropped it to her small shoulders. He shook his head, never in his life had he seen such a beauty. And his craving to touch her was there, and his hands trembled, and his mind stuttered, and he was in love. As so many times when he looked at her before, he felt so weak to her, but yet... at the same time so strong. He laughed lightly, not allowing his voice to be so loud as he walked up behind her, reaching out to touch her hair, playing with it a moment before allowing his fingers to move up to touch the back of her neck.

The tingling, and sensation made his body tremble, unable to control himself, like he could around others, Bella had not only made him strong in love, but weak in body. His love for her so deep, engrained into him, complete he could only look down at her small neck, hair, the back of her head, her curving shoulders, and know when she turned around the fire would be there between them. The passion, the lust, the desire, everything wrapped up in a blanket of want. Jonnie loved her, and Jonnie would always love her. Forever and tomorrow.

[bellasterling]

Bella had continued to keep her eyes closed as she waited loving the soothing feeling the cold wind gave her then as her thoughts roamed. Some roaming to thoughts in which made her heart pound with desire while other made her heart pound in fear. Her mind was such a chaotic place she couldn’t filter out or answer any of the thoughts whether to comfort her or not. It made Bella a little angry that this was happening, having never been this confused in her life. She knew the moment it began she didn’t care for it in the least bit and no matter how hard she tired she wouldn’t be able to calm her mind, not yet anyways.

Her thoughts being so controlling she didn’t happen to hear the soft footsteps in which walked toward her. Though the moment she felt her hair being played with a shiver ran through her already cold body making her smile slightly. The touch didn’t make her jump or scream because she knew exactly whose hands were touching her in the sweetest of ways. Once the hand moved to the back of her neck another shiver was sent through her body which grew warmer with every second. The warmth she knew that was growing would soon turn into a fire in which she had learned weeks ago was hard to control. Very hard, she reminded herself as slowly her eyes opened and she turned.

When she met Jonnie her eyes immediately went straight to his face searching it as all of her worrying thoughts died for the moment as did her fear. Right now she knew exactly what her heart pounded with and it was love. A thing in which she had been debating so hard in her mind wasn’t real, that was until then as she stood so close to Jonnie. Looking into his beautiful deep brown eyes she cursed herself wondering how in the world she could have done that. Of course a small part of her knew but in that moment it was wiped from her memory.

Walking the last few steps toward him she wrapped her arms around his neck as her head rested against his chest so that her head was just under chin. For a few minutes she kept the embrace just content to be in his arms right then knowing this was exactly what she wanted and needed. Though just not then in that moment but forever. That’s when the thoughts all came rushing back and right along with them the bad feeling, one in which she tried to push away as her body tensed a little. Sighing softly she leaned her head up her arms still around his neck as her lips made there way up to his ear sliding against his cheek in a kiss just before her lips froze at his ear.

“I’ve missed you Jonnie….” her words were spoken quietly but full of love something Jonnie wouldn’t have been able to of heard if Bella were a foot away from him. Speaking these words she quieted letting her head rest against his shoulder as she closed her eyes letting her feelings envelop her in a swirl of emotions.

[jonringo]

Jonnie wrapped his arms around her small frame, pulling her into him, smelling the familiar scent he would always recognize as the smell of love. He ran a hand up her back to hold her hair, touching her slightly before kissing her forehead, then pulling her hair lightly so she would face him, his lips moving down to touch hers, softly, brushing his tongue across her lower lip. He smiled as he kissed her, his heart about to burst with longing as he remembered how wonderful she tasted, how intriguing she was always to him. And how much he had always felt he loved her from the first second.

His eyes fell down to lock on hers, seeing the worry in her eyes, made his heart stop a moment, she was worried about him, about them. He had not contacted her in a few weeks, but he had been busy with school, and the weird spells he had been having. These thoughts he hid from her, not wanting her more concerned until he knew what it was that was happening.

"I love you Bella! Since the moment I first saw you, and tonight, I find I fall in love even more, just by seeing you again. How deep does our love go? Will we ever stop falling in love? I know I do not want to ever stop falling in love with you. I see your smile in my dreams... and I would not have that changed for the World!" He enveloped her in his arms, letting his long cloak fold around her, his arms holding her tight, never wanting to let go. He was afraid to let go would be to lose her. He was afraid, not of her, but of something he could not remember, but he hid it well, as he often did.

~OOC~ So it is short, but i got ya in AIM, and I am keeping you there! LoL!~

[bellasterling]

As soon as Jonnie reacted and began to show his own love with light touches and gentle kisses her tension melted…for the moment. She couldn’t see why it wouldn’t have as last time every small touch made her want to melt into a pool of water on the floor. Something in which was beginning to feel much more familiar to her. Though as she felt the light tugging of her hair which made her head come up to meet his lips she knew that wasn’t the only thing she was getting used to. In her mind Bella had a whole list of things, some good while others were bad.

As there lips met in a soft kiss she couldn’t help the smile which appeared on her lips. This was one of the many things she missed most. His lips on hers were like heaven, hell him being in the same room with Bella was like heaven to her. When she felt his tongue run along her lower lip she sighed, the warm feeling enveloping her beginning to make it’s way down making her shiver once more. In return she bit his bottom lip, though not as softly as she intended to her hormones getting the better of her as she pulled away and blushed lightly, her cheeks reding more than they already were. Looking at his lips she noticed no damage had been done and she smiled a little up at him as he gazed into her eyes.

Watching him she felt as if he was looking into her soul, and in that moment she couldn’t stop the worry that lifted to the surface and shone bright. She hoped he would understand and that he wouldn’t take it the wrong way, telling Bella how he couldn’t believe she’d even doubt a thing. Her heart almost stopped at the thought, but was quickly up and beating once she heard his exclaiming words. She let out a surprised gasp as he held her, practically smothering her as they stood there in the darkness.

“Jonnie dear…..I can’t….breathe….” she said in between breathes hoping he’d let her go so she could actually speak. She laughed inside at his sudden tightness having a feeling he didn’t want to let her. She took this thought comforting but knew she’d be even more comforted when she was able to breathe again.

(( No worries. And yes I know your going to, already proving it now, lol. I don’t mind though!))

[jonringo]

Jonnie laughed lightly and let her go, looking down at her, his eyes locked onto hers. He nodded as if in apology, not wanting to crush her, but sometimes being apart from her made him ache in ways he had never known before. He had no real clue what his future would hold, but he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would be in it, apart of him, with him forever. He was more in love with her, than he loved his own music. That said in his mind, proved alot to him. He was crazy for her, and wanted her to know how he felt everyday. He smiled to her, watching her small form, wanting to touch her again, and wanting... other things.

He let the wind wrap its way around them as he turned slightly to look down the long road they were on. Ice crunched under his feet as the snow began to fall again. Yule was almost on them, and Jonnie had done no shopping yet. But he already had the one item he wanted Bella to own, and he did not know if he would be able to hold on to it for much longer. He touched the small box in the hidden pocket of his cloak, moving his fingers over its small form, a smile playing on his lips as he thought of the one thing he longed to ask her. Wanted to ask her since the moment he had met her, but was not sure how to go about it. He sighed lightly, running his hand through his hair.

He moved to wards her again, reaching out to toucher her cheek softly, letting his fingers move over her, rubbing her cheek, chin, and then dotting her nose with his fingertips. He could never remember being so happy in his entire life. He only knew one thing, regardless of all the weird things going on in his life, she was the one stable reliable source of happiness he had. And he never wanted to lose her, he loved her, and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. If only he could figure out a way to ask her his question. Maybe he would tonight.

"Bella?" He said softly. "You okay there?"

[bellasterling]

Hearing Jonnie’s laugh as he let her go made Bella smile. Forgetting how wonderful his laugh was and how wonderful it was to be in his arms whether she could breathe or not. A laugh escaped her lips at the irony of her last thought, knowing there had been many times in which that had happened, most of them in an act of love which was completely physical. Her smiled widening she glanced up to look at him as she moved closer and wrapped a arm around his waist so that she was now at his side. “Maybe this position is best for right now,” she teased referring to seconds ago when he had almost crushed her. She gave him a light squeeze letting him know that she was just kidding around with him. After all the last thing she wanted was for him to get agitated at her.

As she stood there beside the person she loved most in the world she glanced up as the snow started to fall. A grin immediately brightened her face as she moved away from Jonnie and stood a few feet away from him spreading her arms out as she walked around in circles letting the snow fall all around her. The moment she stopped and glanced at Jonnie a hand going to her head as she tried to make out his expression. Was he frowning or was he smiling? She couldn’t tell right then as she closed her eyes to let the world around her stop spinning.

Opening them moments later she watched as Jonnie walked toward her his hand outstretched as his fingers moved lightly over her cheek. She began to move in to his touch but stopped as his hand found her chin and then her nose. Each of his fingertips making an imprint on her nose. She smiled content at the moment just being there with him. Glancing up to him she smiled though it faded at his question. Was she alright? Not now…she thought to herself absently as she took his hand in hers letting her fingers intertwine with his. Her gaze was held for many moments on their hands before she spoke.

“Well your words moments before confirmed my thoughts to be wrong….but still…” she sighed as she finally looked up to the only pair of eyes in which made her heart beat faster, make her want to melt, made her fill with desire and also fear. “….I still can’t let go of a feeling that somethings wrong. Maybe with us, or you or me. It’s hard to decfifer Jonnie. I hate saying that but I can’t shut it away, it won’t go away!” She looked away from him in that moment and sighed. Not sure what was or going on or what she was talking about anymore. After all Jonnie had just practically shouted he loved her, what was wrong now?

[jonringo]

Jonnie stopped short, his hand going to his pocket, his eyes locking on her. He sighed heavily, and let the snow blow around them, the winter air hitting them, and the frost crunching under their feet. His heart quit working, not making a sound in his chest as he looked at her, his dark brown eyes rich with his future, the words practically falling on his tongue as he had to know now. He had to know what she would say, he could not wait another second, his thoughts were always with her, on her, in his dreams she was there waiting, he wanted it to remain like this as long as she wanted him. He stepped in front of her, drawing out the small velvet lined box, and dropped forward to one knee, the sound making the icy ground crunch softly. His eyes remained on hers as his breath came out in soft misty clouds of ice. He smiled, taking her smaller hand into his, his chest not moving, his breath shallow.

All his thoughts circled around her, and how lucky it had been for him to walk into her work that fateful night, and persist to ask her to dinner. He could not think of a happier time in his life before he met her, and now how his whole world had changed, all for the better, all for the love of one woman. He smiled, rubbing her hand lightly, moving his fingers over her soft knuckles, ignoring the cold on his knees as he remained on one. The snow blew around them, making the night seem more magical, and the time was right. He could see no future without her in it, and this was the moment he had been dreaming about for weeks. There was only one way to know an answer, and that was to ask the right question.

He inhaled, and spoke. "Bella Sterling, for long I have dreamed about being with someone as enchanting as you, someone who would love me for me, and not who they wanted me to be. When I found you, my whole world changed, and I found a love like I never knew before, and you made everything in my life better. I could not imagine walking through the rest of my life without you by my side. I want to be with you, forever and tomorrow." His voice trailed off, but his glistening eyes remained on hers as he opened the box.

The street lighted lamp shined on a small blue diamond in white gold, with small leaves surrounding it, in a floral pattern. Both sides of the blue diamond was encrusted with a leaf shaped emerald, slightly bent to hug the diamond. The stars above did not shine as bright as this little ring that Jonnie had bought on his last visit to Diagon Alley, something it took forever for him to chose for her, with her in mind. Something we longed to see on her finger, for the rest of his life. He extended his arm to show her the ring, as his eyes traced over hers, hoping that he would see a clear moment of pure joy, and one word answer that would send his spirits to the heavens. He did not know how she would react, but he thought once again of only one way to find out.

"Bella?" His voice a mere whisper, mixing with the sound of the wind, the snow floating around them like a small heaven of clouds. "Will you marry me?"

[bellasterling]

Bella’s thoughts once again became chaotic almost making her want to scream, knowing how angry these confused thoughts were making her. Why couldn’t everything be simple in life, she thought to herself with a shake of her head as she stood suddenly feeling Jonnie’s hand let go of hers. Her heart practically stopped at that point knowing her words were the exactly wrong thing to say. Knowing this she turned to the soft crunch of ice thinking Jonnie happened to be walking away but was surprised to see him leaning on one knee in front of her. Looking at his smiling face she wondered what in the world he was doing. When he took her hand Bella didn’t jump but let her hazel eyes advert their gaze to his hand where she saw the box, the small velvet box.

Her mouth dropped at the object he held in his hand and her heart started to race knowing this couldn’t be happening. It is. A small voice in her head told her suddenly as she glanced up, in the face she loved, to see Jonnie’s smile widen. Feeling his fingers softly run over her hand her heart began to slow but only a little. Looking down upon Jonnie she felt like she was going to cry, not believing in her whole in tire life anything this special and wonderful could be happening, especially to her. Though her she was the one she loved before her kneeled rubbing her hand in a comforting way, his smile brighter than Bella has ever seen it. Her eyes began to water and she blinked them away as he began to speak.

Hearing the words in which came from him made her want to fall right then and there into his loving arms. She wanted to answer him right then and there. She wanted to love him, but she didn’t do any of those things…not yet anyway. She stood there her face calm as she listened to his words smiling in her mind at how wonderful he was for her and she him. Bella made sure her hand, the one in which he held, didn’t tremble once knowing she’d give everything away to early. As he finished his words her heart didn’t stop pounding, but continued to with nothing but love. I never thought a person could love one another so much, she thought to herself as she watched Jonnie’s sparkling eyes. That was until she heard the soft click of the box open.

Bella’s eyes widened as they darted toward the ring in which the case held. She had never seen anything more beautiful in her life. The ring was perfect, more perfect then she had ever expected a ring to be. Watching it shine their in the darkness brighter than either star or street lamp she knew she couldn’t have asked for anything else. It was if almost the ring was made exactly for her. That it was made for only one man to give it to her and that was Jonnie. When his arm extended toward hers she got a better look at the ring and blinked back the same tears in which threatened to come just moments earlier. Even with the ring she couldn’t have asked for anything more.

Her mind coming back to reality she listened to his soft voice whisper her name. Leaning down slightly as the snow fell into her face she heard the question in which she knew was coming. The one that made her heart leap with so many emotions she was surprised it didn’t explode or stop all together right then and there. Part of her had made him want to wait after all her mind was telling her that was the smart thing as they hadn’t been with each other hardly long enough. Though her heart couldn’t. Wouldn’t make him wait like that.

Kneeling down onto the ice and snow which was falling on to the ground she locked eyes with the guy who held the key to her heart. Squeezing the hand which held hers a smile lit her face making it glow in the night light. “My mind tells me it’s to soon Jonnie….” she whispered gently as she trailed off making him see the small conflict she had just moments before. A fight in which caused her mind to versus her heart. Tightening her grip on his hand her voice barely clear now she added. “But my heart tells me otherwise. And I have to say for the first time in my life my heart won. My answers is yes Jonnie….I will marry you.” Smiling softly she searched his eyes waiting for the burst of joy from him, knowing tonight was one in which she would never forget.

[jonringo]

He let his breath escape in a slow frosty cloud, the snow falling all around them in a heavy white curtain, the cold air moving across them, but nothing was warmer than the feeling in Jonnie's heart, his eyes moist as he cried, and placed the little ring on Bella's finger, moving it slowly seeing it fit perfectly. He was amazed at how well he had picked, almost as if the ring had picked him, or more importantly picked Bella. He smiled as he stood up, partially happy to get off his knee and hold her. He wrapped his arms around her, moving slowly, to kiss her, pressing his lips on hers, moving his tongue into her mouth, being careful not to hold her too hard this time. He was now engaged, and in love, and there was nothing in the World that could stop this feeling inside him. He wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with her. Anywhere he was, he wanted her there.

"I love you Bella." He whispered between kisses, wondering if this time, she could tell that he was the happiest man in the World, his thoughts only on her, and the life they would soon share. And would always share, never to be parted from this love, this relationship, this togetherness. He smiled as he kissed her, his eyes leaking heavily, thinking he must look the complete fool to be so happy, kissing, and crying all at once. He dreamed briefly of a cliff side wedding, in the Spring, the two of them together and happy. Always happy.

He trailed kisses on her check, over her nose, to her eyes, lips, chin, and then pushed her away lightly to bow in front of her, like he had all those weeks ago, making her laugh then, as he hoped to make her laugh now. He felt like running the streets, dancing, and shouting to the sky that he loved her, would love her until the day he died. And if she was at his side, he knew he would die that day, happy. As happy as she always made him.

~OOC~ Sorry so short hun, I need to run.~

[bellasterling]

Bella watched as Jonnie let go a breathe he probably had been holding, part of her was surprised he had waited that long. As she looked into his eyes watching him she noticed tears springing to his eyes which fell and brushed along his cheek. About to rub them away she stopped herself as she felt the coldness of the ring, her ring, as it slowly slide onto her finger. Once he was finished she wiggled her fingers watching as the lights all around her hit the blue diamond and emerald leaves making them sparkle. A soft sigh left her lips as she thought about what she had just agreed to. Something in which had just changed her life once again forever. She laughed at the thought noticing that every choice she made around Jonnie always came to that. An odd….but good thing.

When Jonnie suddenly stood up taking Bella with him she smiled right along with him happy to be in his arms once more and not to mention up off the cold ground, something she had noticed until seconds ago was making her freeze. As his mouth slowly made it’s way to hers for a kiss she leaned in meeting him half way so their lips met warming her immediately. The moment she felt his tongue was the moment hers reacted and slid into his mouth exploring every inch of it as her arms wrapped themselves around his neck. Inside her mind she was jumping with joy knowing how much she enjoyed the idea of Jonnie being with her for the rest of her life. Through sickness and health, rich or poor, good times and bad times, she could go on. And as she did each new thought made her smile knowing she had made a great choice.

Hearing his sudden whisper made her heart race, knowing how true and real that was. Part of her couldn’t believe she happened to have the bad feeling moments ago. Her thoughts paused at the sudden thought of the bad feeling which began filling her mind and body once again. Pushing hard she put those thoughts away, in the back of her mind, as she removed her arms from around his neck so her hands were on each cheek. Her eyes started to water then and she felt a couple of tears drop and roll along her cheek. She knew they were for two things one good the other bad. Sighing in her head she leaned away from Jonnie for a moment to wipe a couple of tears from his cheeks and smile at him she whispered back, “I love you too.”

When he began to trail kisses all over her face Bella let him as he also kissed away her tears. Smiling she leaned in to kiss him back but was pushed away lightly as Jonnie bowed. Laughing happily at the action she took his hand and pulled him up from his bow so she was now facing him. Laughing even more she knew she probably looked a mess with her slightly swollen lips, pink cheeks from the cold, working clothes on, and not mention all the hairs in which fell into her face. Pushing them away she grinned as she watched him letting her gaze finally drift down to the ring which lay safe and snug on her finger.

“It’s perfect Jonnie….” she told him her voice a soft caress. “I have to say I’m so surprised you asked me. Surprised but very happy. I’m so happy and filled with so many emotions I swear I don’t understand how my heart keeps beating, but of course that’s a good thing.” Laughing lightly as she trailed off Bella knew she was beginning to ramble. Something in which she knew she did well sometimes. Shaking her head at that thought she lifted her hazel eyes to meet Jonnie’s brown ones. “As I said I’m very happy and it’s you that made me that. It’s you, the one who holds the key to my heart. To my soul, that made me this happy….” Trailing off she kept her gaze locked with Jonnie’s as the earth around her began to disappear leaving the only person that mattered behind.

((Don't worry, I know.))